Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconiraincrows: More from iRainCrows


Featured in Collections

Poems by Animalgirlxo

Poems and Songs by SirenaClaws


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
November 27, 2012
File Size
607 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
76
Favourites
8 (who?)
Comments
10
×
I feel it hook and snag into me,
Seducing or beating me into submission.
A delicious poison.
A thorny rose.

I feel the tide of it rise up,
Slowly growing and gathering strength.
A burning cloud.
A choking noose.

I feel it carry me into the depths,
Sweeping my resistance away.
A whipping gale.
A crashing wave.

I feel my eyes open once it's done,
Knowing that it'll happen again soon.
A chosen dependency.
A hurtful addiction.
First attempt at a contest in a group. I rather like this poem. Well... Hopefully it at least isn't a disgrace to the other poems in the competition.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsirenaclaws:
SirenaClaws Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It makes me think that you smoke pot or something! I know better though. Also, not all poems have to rhyme, I can't think of anything that rhymes with a certain word, so I wing it :heart:
Reply
:iconkthejaybee3:
Kthejaybee3 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my god. I LOVE this. It's beautiful.
Reply
:iconiraincrows:
iRainCrows Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012
Thanks~ :)
Reply
:iconpeaceful-image:
Peaceful-Image Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Awesome :D
Reply
:iconiraincrows:
iRainCrows Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012
Thank you!
Reply
:iconinkstainedpens:
InkStainedPens Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
third stanza second line 'me' to 'my' :) I hope you win:)
Reply
:iconiraincrows:
iRainCrows Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012
I highly doubt it :P
Reply
:iconinkstainedpens:
InkStainedPens Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
pshhh
Reply
:iconiraincrows:
iRainCrows Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012
The main problem I have with it is to me it seems to be lacking a bit of emotion or grip to it... Idk, I just don't feel it captures the reader as well as some of my other poems...
Reply
:iconinkstainedpens:
InkStainedPens Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You can always just lay it down for a while and then revise it later
Reply
Add a Comment: